from Tommy Jaster's Ball

Help.....I'm Tommy  Jaster's ball and  I am stuck in Niagara Cave. 
Please hurry. The lights are out and I need out.

Hey Tommy Jaster's ball here.

I have been swallowed by a pig that fell next to me.  I hear a farmer, too.  Maybe he will find us so I can make it to Ferndale on time.

Tommy J's ball again

RESCUED!  Farmer Brown caught the pig I'm in.  My pork taxi seems to be
eating and drinking heavily.  I am moving.  Yes.  Holy !@#$%!!!!

 from Jim Eddy

I PLAN TO WINTHE SEXIEST GOLFER AWARD AGAIN. AND TO MAKE THINGS INTERESTEING I AM EVEN LETTING OTHER PARTICIPENTS IN ON THIS YEARS RACE. TO QUALIFY YOU MUST HAVE A BEER GUT. GOOD LUCK AND SEE YOU AT THE BARJ

from Jim Eddy

DOES THE DUGGOUT STILL COUNT FOR LODGING?

from T.J.'s Ball

I see the sun.  Yes, warm dry sun.  What am I doing in Lanesboro?  The
stockyards?  Goodbye swine friend.  I was happy in your intestine.  It
really smells bad at this slaughterhouse.

from TJB

Tommy, can you see me?
Can I help to cheer you?
Tommy, can you hear me?
Can you feel me near you?
Oooh, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy

from Ben Vathing

Wow, I don't think Jaster's ball...'s have ever received so much attention.  I don't know how Jaster's ball has gone on such an adventure.  According to my sources, that schmuck hasn't even been out yet this year.  Hopefully, Jaster and the rest of Team Fluke don't cry when Aunt Judy and Company steal those jackets.  

from TJB

Wow,  I am glad to be out of that pile of poop.  Oh could it be that
someone sees me?  Thats it.....closer....closer.  Over here!  Hey it's
me ....Tommy Jaster's ball.  He's gonna do it.  HE'S GONNA FIND ME!  
HURRAY.
This is too good to be true.  It's Dave Bruggeman!  Ahhh.  Clean me
Dave.  Make me shine again.  I will be the best ball ever for you.  I
feel like a new ball again.  I promise to be the longest truest PINK
LADY you've ever whacked!